The Flight Of A Mockingjay
by gemstone43
Summary: One year since the fall of President Snow and Katniss is unable to forget the past. Until Effie Trinket arrives one day offering Katniss the opportunity to leave District 12 to leave Panem. Forever.
1. Chapter 1

It has been a year since the death of my beautiful sister, Primrose Everdeen, and every day feels worse than the one before. I stare out the window in the direction of Peeta Mellark's house in Victor's Village, seeing a glimpse of him in the window. I haven't left this house properly in over seven months. The longest I go outside for is an hour, the majority of the time I just sit in the lounge, staring at pictures of Prim. Greasy Sae has told me multiple times that I need to get out the house. That I should do volunteer work or even just go to the forest. But I can't. I have tried so many times but every time I bring myself to the fence my body just locks. I physically can't move.

I hear the front door open, indicating that Greasy Sae has finished her shift and is returning back home. The house falls silent once more, apart from the gentle drip of the tap in the background from the kitchen. I return my attention back to the window and I notice Peeta staring out of his house. Staring at me. I blink before turning my head away quickly. I feel my heart rate increase rapidly, afraid that Peeta would view that eye contact as a form of invitation for him to come round. To socialise with me.

Part of me does still Peeta but someone like me does not deserve love. I have inflicted too much pain and suffering on too many people. So many people have died all in the name of the 'mockingjay', but what did I actually achieve? Nothing. I feel my fingers begin to tremble at the thought of the lives lost because of me. It is bad enough that their faces haunt me every night in my dreams. Peeta attempted a form of friendship with me during the brief months following after the collapse of the Capitol but it was short lived. I began to become more and more enclosed, shutting Peeta out. He has attempted a few times previously to speak to me but I never answer the phone nor door. On my birthday I was greeted by the pleasant surprise of a birthday cake left on my door step, however, I had to throw it away for I remembered how much Prim loved the way in which Peeta would decorate cakes.

I hear the phone ring in the hall way but I ignore it. I've worked out that between each ring is a time gap of two seconds. The phone also rings seven times before the caller is sent to voicemail. I count the rings just like I counted the cannons in the arena. The phone finally stops ringing and I release a sigh of relief before running my fingers through my tangled hair. Five minutes later, however, I hear a knock at the door. It must be Peeta. My stomach plummets. I knew he viewed the eye contact as an invitation. I remain silent, hoping that Peeta thinks I have fallen asleep. However, I hear another knock on the door, this time much louder than before. I lift myself up out the armchair and open the door.

"Go away," I mutter before registering who is at the door.

"I know that you are living by yourself but that is not a valid excuse for the lack of manners!' I hear a familiar voice exclaim.

"Effie?" I question in disbelief, opening the door completely.

"Katniss, it is so good to see you. I would say you look well but we both know that would be a lie,' Effie states.

"It's good to see you as well," I reply.

I invite Effie into the house as I know she would criticise me on my manners, otherwise. I can see her judging the state of it, although she chooses not to comment. Effie sits on the edge of the armchair in the lounge, her vibrant green hair being the brightest thing in the room. I sit across from Effie, taking in her appearance, she hasn't changed much. She has a lot a little bit of weight but nothing drastic. Effie is draped in lilac silk, wrapped tightly around her body, as if it was a snake inflicting its grasp on her.

"How have you been, Katniss?" Effie asks me whilst placing her hands gently in her lap. How am I? What kind of question is that to ask someone? I haven't been able to have a peaceful night's sleep in over a year. My arms are covered in cuts from where I scratch myself in my sleep. Effie is the first person I have spoken to in over three months. How am I?

"I'm okay," I reply bluntly. Effie alters her body language slightly, clearly feeling uncomfortable by the presence of someone such as myself. Why wouldn't she? I am not like the people you find in the Capitol. I am a savage.

"Well I am here to present you with a fantastic opportunity," Effie chirps.

"The last time you said that I was sent into the hunger games," I scoff. Effie's smile fades from her face quickly and I instantly regret what I have said. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay Katniss. You have the right to be angry, of course you do. This opportunity, however, I believe will benefit you greatly. I have already spoken to Peeta-"

"Peeta? What has he got to do with this?"

"Well, I was just thinking that-"

"This is exactly like before. What? You want me to put on a show once again? That me and Peeta are in love? Well forget it. I have already given enough!" I scream. Effie's eyes widen in disbelief and I can see her shaking her head.

"I am not asking that of you. I will never ask anything like that from you again. You have given far too much and I am forever sorry," Effie replies with sincerity. I can see tears filling in her eyes before she shakes her head once more and regains composure. "It is clear to see how much you are struggling here, Katniss. There are too many memories. The same goes for Peeta. That is where this fantastic opportunity comes in for you two. Since the fall of President Snow we have been able to communicate with other countries outside that of Panem, forming new connections. This has resulted in Panem having richer products and materials through trading with various countries, such as Cloyden located just south of here. The country of Larp has opened its doors to all people involved within the rebellion, offering them a new home, a fresh start."

"Larp?" I question, never hearing of this country before.

"Yes. The country was originally founded as Spain centuries ago. I don't want you to feel like I am putting pressure on you but I really think that this is the start you and Peeta need," Effie states. She glances down at her watch before releasing a heavy sigh, "I must leave. Katniss, please consider this opportunity. And for god sake, answer your phone! This is the first time we have spoken in over a year!" She raises herself up from the arm chair and embraces me in a tight hug. I have almost forgotten what human contact feels like. Her sickly invades my nostril but my body almost welcomes the feeling. She kisses me gently on the cheek before leaving my house, leaving me alone.

I return back to my armchair, my mind racing with thoughts. It almost seems surreal. I have always wondered what lay further past Panem and now I have been given the opportunity to explore it. But how can I leave District 12? So many people have already abandoned this district, so many of the citizens have died. I can't leave it. Its home. It was because of me that District 12 was blown up by the Capitol. It was because of me that so many people died. I cannot abandon this district. I cannot abandon my home.

But this isn't my home anymore. It's just a town full of ghosts.


	2. Chapter 2

p class="MsoNormal"That night is another sleepless night but for different reasons. My mind is still racing, unsure of whether to accept the opportunity to move to Larp or remain in District 12. I feel, almost, that District 12 is now my prison for the deaths that have occurred all in the name of the Mockingjay. I glance over at the clock. em3:17a.m./em I am aware that any attempts at trying to sleep are futile and decide to leave the house for the first time this month. I pull on my father's old hunting jacket and leave the house, feeling the wind blow against my face. It is a strange feeling being outside, like it is a whole new world. I hear my feet crunch against the gravel as I walk away from the house./p  
>p class="MsoNormal"Within the centre of Victor's Village is a small plaque of the District 12 sign mounted on a block of marble. I sit down on the floor and lean against the marble, tilting my head up and looking at the stars. It has been so long since I have seen the stars sparkle like that.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""It's quite a view," I hear a familiar voice say. I turn my head to see Peeta sitting on the other side of the marble. I feel my stomach plummet at the view of him, instantly regretting my decision to come outside. "How have you been?" he asks.p  
>p class="MsoNormal" p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Fine," I reply, "you?"p  
>p class="MsoNormal""You don't need to lie to me, Katniss. And I have been okay. I've reopened the bakery, business is slow but it's bearable. I'm still having nightmares as vivid as before," Peeta answers.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""So am I," I comment quietly, "I just want them to stop." Peeta shuffles over towards me and sits cross legged, picking at the grass.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Sitting by this plaque has become quite a habit of mine when I can't sleep," Peeta admits, "Can I ask you a question?"p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Sure," I reply with hesitation.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Did I use to struggle with my sleep before the hijacking?" Peeta asks. I am surprised by his question.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Yes. We both did. Can you blame us though? The hunger games completely destroyed any scrap of sanity we had left," I state. br  "Oh… did Effie come see you today?"/p  
>p class="MsoNormal""She did."p  
>p class="MsoNormal""About Larp?" I nod my head, "I don't know if to go or not. I look everywhere and I get these memories and I don't even know if they are real or not. But it's the memories that I know are real are the ones which are causing me the most pain."p  
>p class="MsoNormal""I'm sorry," I say quietly.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Why are you sorry?" Peeta questions in confusion.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""It's because of me that the Capitol did what they did to you. If I had just let you kill me in the first hunger games you wouldn't be the way you are. Prim would still be alive. Cinna would still be alive. So many people would still be alive."p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Alive? The way the Capitol made us live before could hardly be considered as living. And Katniss, you know as well as I that I would not have coped if I came out the Hunger Games as a victor and you were dead." I release a heavy sigh, turning my head away from Peeta, focussing on a small stone within the grass. I can hear Peeta in the background still pulling the grass out of the ground and I begin imitating his actions. It's almost relaxing.p  
>p class="MsoNormal" p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Everywhere I look reminds me of Prim," I confess. Saying Prim's name out loud releases a heavy sensation in my chest and I feel the tears prickle my eyes.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Perhaps Larp isn't such a bad idea," Peeta states. p  
>p class="MsoNormal" p  
>p class="MsoNormal"We sit in silence for ten minutes before I decide to return back to the isolation of my home. I say my goodbyes to Peeta and I can sense that he is disappointed to see me leave, although he does not say so. As soon as I return home I lock the door and slouch down against it. I am emotionally exhausted. This is the most interaction I have had with anyone for a long time. I look down at my hands to find them actually trembling and I decide that perhaps sleep is the most sensible option. p  
>p class="MsoNormal"I lie in bed, feeling almost suffocated by the heaviness of my covers. I throw them off the bed and lie there completely exposed. I stare up at the ceiling, noticing a little crack from when Prim threw a ball up too high.p  
>p class="MsoNormal" p  
>p class="MsoNormal"em"I'm so sorry Katniss!" Prim cried, covering her mouth straight away.em/p  
>p class="MsoNormal"em"It's okay little duck. Let's just view it as you finally christening the house," I smiled.em/p  
>p class="MsoNormal"em"But you haven't even been living here a week and I have already cracked the ceiling!" she exclaimed, becoming more hysterical. I wrap my little sister in my arms, rocking her back and forth. em/p  
>p class="MsoNormal"em"I don't care. It's a ceiling. A rather ugly one at that," I comment before kissing Prim on the cheek.em/p  
>p class="MsoNormal"I blink back the tears quickly, turning on my side and shutting my eyes. Forcing myself to sleep. I know that I will see Prim in my dreams tonight but that is so much better than seeing her in my conscious state.p  
>p class="MsoNormal" p  
>p class="MsoNormal"I awake the next morning to find fresh scratch marks on my arms, but nothing significant. My bed sheets are damp from where I have sweat in the night but I am unable to remember my dreams from my sleep. I know that I must have had nightmares, even though I cannot remember them, as I still feel exhausted. I walk downstairs to find Greasy Sae in the kitchen, cooking me breakfast.p  
>p class="MsoNormal" p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Katniss?" Greasy Sae says in surprise when she notices me, "this is the first time I have seen you all month." I reply with a small smile before sitting down at the table and glancing over at her granddaughter who is playing with the tap. Greasy Sae brings over a plate of bacon and eggs for me to eat. This is the first warm food I have had in ages, I normally leave my room once Greasy Sae has left, resulting in the food being cold. "How have you been?" Greasy Sae adds. Why does everybody ask how I am?p  
>p class="MsoNormal""I've been better," I mutter, "I may be moving."p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Moving?!" Greasy Sae exclaims, "to where?!"p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Larp."p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Larp?"p  
>p class="MsoNormal""emLarpem,"I repeat in frustration./p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Is that some new district they've opened up?"p  
>p class="MsoNormal""No. It's a country," I answer. I instantly regret telling Greasy Sae about it.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""I don't know, Katniss. You're barely able to cope leaving the house for ten minutes. How would you survive in a new country?"p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Well I survived a lot more worse things. I survived watching my sister die. I survived the death of my father. What have I got to lose?!" I shout. I push the food away from me before storming out of the house.p  
>p class="MsoNormal"I can feel myself physically shaking over what Greasy Sae has just said to me, my blood pressure rising. I feel a drop on my head. And another. And before I know it the heavens have opened and I am drenched in a downpour. I can't return back to that house, not with Greasy Sae there. I find myself knocking on Peeta's door, feeling the cold rattle my bones.p  
>p class="MsoNormal" p  
>p class="MsoNormal""H-Hello?" Peeta answers in confusion. He rubs his eyes and I watch as they widen in surprise at my presence, "Katniss! You're drenched, come inside." I don't bother saying anything and I walk into Peeta's house. I have only been in Peeta's house once before when he first returned from the Capitol. Although mine and his house are the same, Peeta's house is much nicer and homely compared to mine. In the lounge Peeta has the fire lit, making it seem 1000 times more welcoming. Peeta guides me into the kitchen where I sit at the table, hands firmly in my lap. Peeta sits opposite of me and does not speak until I am ready to talk.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Greasy Sae said she doesn't''t think I could cope," I state.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""With moving to Larp?" Peeta comments. I nod my head and Peeta rubs his eyes in exasperation, "what does she know Katniss? Does she have any idea what you have been through?"p  
>p class="MsoNormal""She said I can barely handle leaving the house," I add.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""That doesn't make you weak!" Peeta exclaims, "Who in their right mind would expect you to be able to live life normally after witnessing the death of your sister?" I feel tears prickle my eyes and I begin crying. I try to cover my face, ashamed of my portrayal of vulnerability. I feel Peeta's arms wrap around me and I begin crying even more.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Greasy Sae is right, Peeta. I wouldn't cope in Larp. Not by myself."p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Yes you could, Katniss. And you won't be alone because I'll be there with you." I remove my hands away from my face, meeting the eyes of Peeta who is kneeling beside me.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Will you?" I say, my voice breaking slightly.p  
>p class="MsoNormal""Of course I will. I would never leave you, Katniss. If you need me, I will be right there beside you," Peeta comments softly. I feel a small smile spread across my face and for the first time in months the tight pain in my chest loosens slightly.p  
>p class="MsoNormal" p  
>p class="MsoNormal"I know nothing about the country Larp, but it has to be a lot better than the living hell which I currently exist in. And with Peeta by my side, someone who has faced the same struggles, the same pain as me, maybe the process to recovery won't be as hard. emMaybe. em/p  
>p class="MsoNormal" p  
>p class="MsoNormal"strongemAN- Please leave me a review and don't forget to follow the story :D Will update soon! x/em/strong/p  
>p class="MsoNormal" p 


End file.
